From Ephesians 5, we see that God’s ideal for marriage is FIRST to give yourself to your spouse: verses 22-25. Secondly to love in practical ways: verses 28-30, and lastly to live as one flesh: verses 31-33.  
To give yourself to your spouse means for the wife to submit and the husband to love sacrificially.  Wives, notice that God’s Word says submit as to the Lord.  To what did you submit when you received Christ for salvation?  Wasn’t it to His tender love, His gracious forgiveness, and His care?

When a husband is thoughtful, considerate, providing wise and Godly leadership- few wives will have ANY trouble with the word: “Submit.”  Such a husband never uses psychological or physical manipulation or verbal coercion.  

Verse 23 says that the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. Headship is not the right to command or control. It's the responsibility to love like Christ: to lay down your life for your wife in servant leadership. Then submission is not slavish or coerced or cowering. That's not the way Christ wants the church to respond to his leadership: he wants it to be free and willing, glad and refining, and strengthening.  The head provides for, and guides...does not in ANY WAY squash or suppress or overwhelm the other.  

Mike Singleton wrote: "If a man exercised his authority in the way it is outlined in the Bible, a woman would not resent it.  She would find herself served.  She would find her needs met.  She would have her say, be able to exercise her gifts, not be pushed back and ignored and treated like a second-class citizen.  God’s design for marriage is for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and for wives to respect their husbands.  Christ loved the Church enough to die for it.  That kind of love is worthy of respect."
           Happy Valentine's Day!